Again heads up on the new web address being www.angels-of-the-road.com
These days I'm volunteering at the Nanaimo Men's Resource Center and a few weeks ago I was able to attend my first annual general
meeting. After the business portion of
the meeting was finished each person was asked to introduce themselves and
share how they became involved with the centre. My final thought and bottom
line was men need to catch up… the feminism bus pulled out of the driveway and
men were left standing there looking like Macaulay Calkin in the “Home Alone”
movie. And like Macaulay they stood
their ground assuming the family would return.
Feminism spent the past 50 years evolving women into
whole beings… we left behind oppressive stereotypes and kept the things that
were working for us. Were mistakes made?
Hellz ya! First we wasted way too much time in a gender war, before recognizing
that patriarchy was the enemy. The women who came into political power in the
early days focused on insignificant crap like semantics instead of important
issues. Getting women into good jobs like the post office
is far more important then whether you were called a mailman or mail-woman. After women
started taking those job the titles change to gender neutral words like letter
carriers. One of our biggest mistakes was not
bringing men along for the ride. We could have found the best from their world
and shown them the best from ours as we all moved forward into breaking free
from the shackles of patriarchal social convention and into living as whole beings.
Now guys… you can’t entirely blame feminism for not letting
you on the bus, some (enlightened) guys drove themselves to the party. Even without the feminist movement gender roles
were changing as we moved from an industrial society into a technological
society; the employment landscape was leveling. So let us not waste anymore time in
a new gender war as we address the need for a Masculinity Movement. For those of you who want to say the whole
world has always been about men, it is NOT about today’s men. The patriarchal privilege we fought against
in NO way serves or represents the 21st century male. It is for us who have fought this battle
before (and did well) to share what we have learned and help men to vanquish
the patriarchal dragon once and for all.
Before patriarchy and the self-serving empire
building models grew; humankind lived as tribes with all its members (male and
female) living in service to the community. Women never really lost that; even
as we moved into the breadwinner / powerbroker roles, we remain skilled at
connecting with each other and building support networks. Men need to re-establish that skill.
Men’s Centres (there aren’t nearly enough of them) provide a safe place for men
to get together in supportive groups. Usually there is a purpose in the agenda
(anger management or parenting etc) but the most important thing being learned
is (I hope) how to get support and be supportive.
The biggest hurdle for men is redefining their
roles. “Man-Up”… WTF does that even mean any more. It is just another example of patriarchal
oppression squeezing the human-ness out of men. The true purpose of a place
like The Men’s Centre is to help men become happier healthier people; who will
then be better husbands, fathers and members of our community (tribe).
I’ll probably talk about this and related issues
again but for now have a joyous day my friends.
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