Grazing

August 6, 2009
Have you ever just wanted to curl-up in a ball and shut off the world? That's the way I feel right now...hit by another wave of depression. If I don't write you now, I may not do it at all. There is no specific incident bringing me down today so I'll keep a close watch on this one. Actually today was quite successful...I have proven that the rumour is true one who is homeless can eat 7 times a day in this city.
This morning I went to a local church which serves breakfast Tuesday thru Thursday every week. We had 2 pancakes, a bowl of oatmeal and 2 slices of toasts, second helping were available of oatmeal and toast. The thing that makes this place special is that they serve orange juice (not crystals) real fruit juice. At 9 am the Drop-in provides sandwiches, today was egg salad...I didn't eat I was too full from breakfast. Apparently there is an 11:30 lunch, I don't know the location except that it is close enough to walk from there to the 12:30 soup and bread at Marian House. At 3 pm the Mustard Seed provides sandwiches. At 5pm the Mission serves dinner which ends in lots of time to get into line at the Mustard Seed for the 7:00 pm dinner. Of coarse there are several over lapping meals at various locations. What is decidedly lacking is meat protein and fresh fruit...vegetables are usually of the frozen variety. I personally have (on week days), 3 meals and 1 late snack; tonight is a slice of fruit bread saved from lunch with 1/2 glass of milk I saved from dinner. So I ask myself how did I put on almost 10lbs...eating light and walking more then I ever did in civilian life? I am feeling a deficiency in my B vitamins these days, I'm getting increasingly jumpy. The supplements themselves are not expensive it is just the tyranny of the dispensing system here, there is no point in bringing such things into the building. Thankfully I will be home next month for a visit, some business, and to recuperate. My first month out I was afraid if I went home ,(slept in my own bed, took my pills all willy-nilly as I wanted ) I might not be able to bring myself to leave again. I am past that now...mostly because of your support I don't feel so alone when I'm on the road...for that I thank you all so much.