Could be a curse

July 11, 2009
Today I am missing my D.I. friends, both staff and clients. I called a couple of staffers last night/this morning. It was good to catch up. But it leaves me a bit homesick. Then this afternoon a couple of the guys (clients) called me, that was a mixed blessing because it was a drunk-dial. I have to remind myself that ultimately the only person we can control is our self. Each person must take responsibility for their own actions and whatever consequences result. As painful as it may be to watch the people we care about hurting themselves it is not in our power to save them. All we can do is be supportive and hope for the best.
Enough about old friends, this morning I left at 5am to locate the day-labour office again. As I crossed the street I ran into a new friend, Anthony the young man whom, I met my first night in the city. He recognized me and gave me a big hug...We spoke briefly about about the choices he was making and how they affect not only him but the people who love him. I was happy to run into him again later in the afternoon,when I really needed a hug. Pretty sure the boy doesn't sleep.
Again, no work from the labour office, starting to think it is not how God wants me to spend my time out here ;-). But being outside that early did put me back in touch with Anthony so I am grateful to have made the attempt.
The mission had its annual Bar-b-que today, must have been 500 people there. A dozen or so I know quite well by now. I stood in line with a fellow in his late 30s, whom I have spent a lot of time with over the past couple weeks. He had a sad but very interesting tale to tell. He was in possession, yesterday of over $100... money is a trigger for addictions. He started to fear he would take the money, buy crack and relapse. So to protect against this he ask a friend (who is much further along in his recovery) to hold on to the money until the next day. So this morning when he went to retrieve his money, he found out that his friend had relapsed himself and spent the money on drugs. It almost feels like the money was cursed...destined to buy drugs. My friend does not feel lucky at the moment, but perhaps one day, he will come to appreciate the courage he showed in handing off this temptation. It is only too sad that his friend was not so strong.