Sunday, July 5, 2009

Life is for Living

July 5,2009
What a beautiful day, perfect weather for shorts. Which is significant because the only thing I have left to wear is a pair of shorts. Normally I prefer not to appear in public wearing short and I am sure the public prefers that too LOL. We have 50-60 women, 3 washing machine and only 1 working dryer, a delemia which plagued us at SunAlta often. There however we had the good sense to shut the correspoding washer so wet laundry wasn't backing up all over the place. Across the street is a little park (a dozen or so young people campout there on nice nights) with a small wooden fence at the one perimiter. It is my intention weather permitting to wash my clothes and hang them on that fence to dry shouldn't take too long. Tomorrow afternoon I am spending some time with an artist friend from the mission. Maybe that will be in tomorrow's blog.
This morning I was seated across the table from a man who made the mistake of saying, "I don't deserve to be here I'm not like the rest of these people...I didn't do this to myself." So I took the time to explain why that statement was just WRONG on so many levels. Then I patiently listened to his story...He is 58 years old, 3 years ago his retirement savings were stolen by his broker. He never married, his family has passed on. He spun into a depression and lost everything else over time. Because he doesn't drink or use drugs he doesn't belong in a shelter. He is still looking back, resenting his loss and compounding that loss, by sacrifice precious (irretreivable) moments of his life nurturing his anger. I can empathize with his situation, to wake up and find the life you thought you had in shambles; the future you planned wiped out, through no fault of your own. I felt exactly that way about my second divorce. I remember when my youngest daughter said to me "Mommy, God never gives you more then you can handle". My response was ,"I wish He had a little less confidence in me." What I learned from that experience was to live in the now, plan for the future but live in the is the only thing we can control. Every moment is precious because it can't be saved. We must spend each and every one as it comes to us. We can choose to spend it wisely or poorly but either way it must be spent. While we are on this subject I'll let you in on a little secret. Happiness is a choice, we can't always choose the circumstances of a given situation but from one moment to the next we can choose what we feel. When something sad happens I take a moment to embrace my feelings of sadness, but I refuse to hold on to that saddness. And take joy in the next small pleasure that crosses my path. The sun's warmth, a breeze caressing my face, a stranger's smile, a child's laugh, or simply drawing breath. Because with each new breath comes is a new opportunity to enjoy life.

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